Chapter 38 (NSFW) - Blindness

Translator's Note:

Hello, I hope you've all been doing well.

Here you go, and I wish you a good read.

And, as I said before, if you wish to read ahead, you can head over to my Patreon to get early access to all the translated chapters.

Aching

 

 

"Brother, that was really uncalled for. Mikado is my friend, you know."

As soon as Ren got into the car, Aoi scolded him. It was no surprise. After all, it was his first time meeting Aoi's friend, yet he had acted that way.

But the violent thumping in his chest left him with no energy to soothe Aoi. Ren quietly placed a suppressant pill in his mouth and bit down on it with his molars. Yet no matter how long he waited, the effects wouldn’t kick in. His heart raced as if it would burst, and a strange heat pulsed through his body, gnawing at him. Ren stretched out his arm and gripped Aoi's hand tightly, sitting beside him. It had been a long time since he last touched Aoi. Had Aoi's hands always been this big?

"...I'm sorry. I'll make it up to you next time..."

"Brother...? What's wrong? Your voice is shaking."

"Sorry, Aoi... I don’t feel so well today."

"I see... I’m sorry. You’re not feeling good, are you?"

"I wanted us to have dinner together, but I don't think I can today. I have so many things I want to talk to you about..."

"That’s not important. You should rest early today."

"Yeah... you're right."

The coolness of Aoi’s hand, as he gently squeezed Ren’s in return, was comforting. Feeling uneasy from the unfamiliar sensation that plagued his body, Ren tightened his grip, seeking refuge in Aoi’s hand.

Aoi turned his clouded eyes toward Ren, his expression filled with a vague sense of concern. For the first time, Ren felt relieved that Aoi couldn’t see him. He was certain that his current expression was utterly pathetic.

"Don’t worry, Aoi. I’m fine."

"...Alright."

Even though Ren tried to sound firm, Aoi, with his sharp intuition, likely saw right through him. With that thought, Ren slowly let go of Aoi’s hand.

◇

Shutting himself away in his room, it seemed like all the strength had left him.

Ren collapsed onto his bed without even changing his clothes.

All he could think about was that boy.

He had such sharp, beautiful eyes. The memory of those eyes, filled with tears, gazing intently at Ren, made him shudder with excitement. And as he recalled the boy's voice, Ren closed his eyes. It was a rich, sweet voice, smooth to the ears. He wanted to hear more of it, to have the boy call his name right beside him. It was an unbearably sweet desire, one that hardly felt like his own. Ren let out a rough sigh, trying to shake off those thoughts.

But above all, what stirred Ren most was that scent.

Ren had been surrounded by countless Alphas before. He thought he had grown accustomed to the scent of Alpha pheromones by now.

However, the fragrance that came from that boy today was incomparable, unlike anything Ren had ever encountered, shaking his very instincts to the core. He could almost still smell it lingering in his nose, and the thought of it made Ren bury his face deeper into his pillow.

"Mm..."

Even though he tried not to think about it, the image of that boy, Mikado, refused to leave his mind. Just thinking about him made Ren’s entire body heat up. The feel of his shirt against his skin, the tightness of his slacks—it all seemed to provoke an odd pleasure.

"Mm... ha... ah..."

Writhing on his bed, Ren let out soft, helpless breaths. His slender shirt and slacks became unbearable, and with trembling fingers, he began to undo the buttons of his shirt, loosening his belt and unfastening the front of his slacks.

"...Why is this happening..."

His arousal was unlike anything he had ever gone through before. His member stood painfully hard, flushed red, and dripping obscene fluid from its tip. Staring at it, Ren was struck by shock.

There had been times before when he had to relieve himself while suppressing his heat. But he could never accept the image of himself indulging in such vulgar acts, and every time he came, it left him feeling miserable. He had always found the Omega’s heat, which forced him into these acts, repugnant and loathed his own nature.

But now, the cloying sexual heat wrapping around Ren's entire body left no room for such thoughts. The moment his trembling hand brushed against his erection, sharp pleasure surged through him, nearly blinding him. Unable to control himself, his hand moved faster, gripping and stroking, as he lay on the bed, stifling his voice and thrusting his hips in a desperate pursuit of some sort of relief.

"Ahh... mm... ah..."

—Touch me... here...

Vulgar fantasies flooded Ren’s mind.

He imagined Mikado—an image he conjured in his mind—entangling his limbs around his own trembling body.

"Haa... ah, no... nn... ah!"

—I want it. I want him... I want him to penetrate me, to claim this body burning with desire, to dominate me with his very being...

"Mm... ah... hnn, aaah...!"

In a feverish haze, Ren pulled his slacks down to his knees, then got on all fours on the bed. Trembling, he reached a hand behind him, fingers cautiously probing his twitching entrance, which was longing for the boy.

This was something he had never done before. The thought of inserting fingers into his own body had always disgusted him. Yet now, for some reason, he felt no hesitation.

His fingertips brushed over his already slick entrance, wet with a thick, viscous fluid. Just tracing the small opening made it twitch in response. Breathing heavily, Ren finally slid his fingers inside.

"Ah...!! Ah... nn..."

The tight, wet walls gripped his fingers, and the sharp pleasure almost blinded him. Though it was his own body, it no longer felt like it was under his control. His slick, pulsing entrance seemed to pull his fingers deeper, as if begging for more. It moved in a lewd, needy rhythm.

"Ah... ah, nn... fu... nnn...!"

Each thrust of his fingers produced a slick, obscene sound. A new, intense pleasure bloomed inside him, unlike anything he'd ever felt before.

—I want... I want him... I want him inside me... I want him to thrust it hard, penetrate deep inside me, and fill up my empty insides...!

"Ah, aaah, nn... fu... ah...!"

—I want him to touch me deeper. I want something even harder to fill my hollow body... My fingers can’t reach far enough. I need more. I want to be filled to the deepest parts of me. I want him to pour his semen into me, endlessly...

—I want to bear his child...

"More... more... Ah, ah... aaah...!!"

His fingers couldn’t reach where he needed them. He wanted to be held tightly, to be ravished more forcefully. But what he sought wasn’t there, and the frustration brought tears to his eyes. Even so, his first time pleasuring himself this way was so overwhelming, the pleasure wouldn’t stop. His fingers and hips moved relentlessly.

—I want to be taken by that Alpha. I want him to hold me... I want him, deep inside...!

"I'm... no... ah... no, not like this... ah, no..."

The pride of an Alpha. The mask of an Alpha.

The mask and armor that had concealed Ren’s true self until now were crumbling to pieces.

Tears of frustration welled up as he thrust his hips shamefully, unable to forgive himself for wanting what he couldn’t have. And yet, he couldn't stop. The pleasure was too overwhelming, too irresistible—it consumed him, leaving him no choice but to continue.

"No... no... I can't... I can't come like this!"

He felt that if he gave in to this sensation, there would be no turning back. But he couldn't stop. Lost in a vivid fantasy of Mikado's body overwhelming him, being pounded relentlessly, Ren finally succumbs to the intense sensation, reaching his climax.

"Mmmnnn...!!!"

His entire body trembled violently, overcome by wave after wave of pleasure that wouldn’t subside. The spasms ran through his body over and over again.

"Ah... haa... nn..."

When he finally withdrew his fingers, thick bodily fluid dripped from his fingertips. Not just that—copious amounts of slick love juices dripped down Ren’s pale thighs, making a small, obscene sound as it hit the sheets.

Collapsing onto the bed, Ren stared blankly at his white fingers, which were now slick with mucus. As the rush of arousal faded and his senses returned, the familiar, crushing emptiness settled over him, leaving him with the usual bitter regret.

—No... I can’t believe I let myself get like this...

The Omega instincts inside him were raging, desperate to bear the child of his fated mate. But Ren's heart vehemently rejected such a notion. To be held by an Alpha, to carry their child—such a thing was an unthinkable humiliation for him. It would mean throwing away everything he had worked so hard to build, a failure that the proud Ren Kunishiro could never allow.

But no matter how much he resisted, thinking of that boy made his heart race uncontrollably, and his body ached with relentless desire. Pressing his sweat-dampened skin into the sheets, Ren bit his lip and let out a small, pained groan.

"...If I get too close to that boy, will I be nothing more than an Omega...?"

—Then I just shouldn't get close. I mustn't approach him.

It was such a simple answer, yet Ren's heart resisted this decision.

—I want to know more about him. If possible, I want to be closer...

Ren clenched his eyes shut and slowly shook his head. He knew, in his mind, that such sweet thoughts were not something he could allow himself to entertain.

"...I never want to see him again..."

The words he muttered in a hollow voice were devoid of even the faintest hint of emotion.

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